My Small Effort to Spread Positive Autism Awareness

I like this quotation from an excellent article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: "Let me be clear -- autism is not a disease. Autism is a congenital variation in neurological structure -- and a lot of us take pride in our difference. We have our own heroes, leaders and traditions. Those of us who struggle with spoken language often participate seamlessly in the electronic conversation within our virtual clan. The digital revolution has allowed us to find one another and build supportive social institutions of our own. A few forward-thinking academic programs study our world as an independent minority culture."
Autism is not a disease.
Autism is a congenital variation in neurological structure.  
[We] take pride in our differences.  
I think those are the three things that first jumped out at me when I read this.  
It's Autism Awareness Month, and in my own small effort to spread some positive awareness about autism, I'm posting these three facts about autism and Autistic culture and I'm also asking my close friends to share these facts -- and others too, of course -- with the neurotypical community in order to tone down the alarmism and hate those uneducated about autism have a tendency to hurl toward us.  
It might be Autism Awareness Month, but unfortunately, this month of "awareness" seems to be more directed by neurotypicals trying to "cure" Autistics than by the Autistics themselves, Autistics like me, Autistics who accept that there are some challenges that come along with autism but are proud of their neurodiversity and the special gifts autism has given them.  
I don't have a disease.  I don't need to be cured.  
I have a congenital variation in neurological structure.  It makes me unique.  I add neurodiversity to our world.  
I take pride in my differences.  I take pride in my accomplishments.  I take pride in my confidence.  I take pride in sharing my experiences.  I am a proud Autistic.

Tone it Down Taupe

Over at Radical Neurodivergence Speaking, there's this great endorsement of the Tone it Down Taupe campaign and this excellent graphic (see below).

Tone it Down Taupe is a response to the Light it Up Blue campaign that spreads autism "awareness" (but this "awareness" tends to dwell on the negative things about autism and really stirs up a lot of fear in people who don't know a lot about autism).  The concept of Tone it Down Taupe is rather brilliant.  Its goal is to "tone down" the alarmism surrounding autism and encourage all people to accept autism not as something to "fix" or "cure" but rather as something positive, something that makes our world more diverse.  The message of the campaign is simple: 49 out of 50 people lack autism!  And that statistic should be equally tragic to the statistic of 1 in 50 are Autistic.  And the amount of tragedy in both of those statistics should, of course, be none at all.

Analysis of an Argument

Yesterday, I got upset with someone after he suggested that I had been angry with him.
I am in university and it's finals season.  I had to study.  And he generously offered to help me.  He was reading off review questions from my notebook and I was answering to the best of my knowledge.  I expected him to know the correct pronunciation of "Wernicke's Encephalopathy" or "hepatocellular carcinoma" or "kyphoplasty."  Of course he didn't.  Nobody who hasn't studied biology or physiology would know what these words mean or how to pronounce them correctly.  But I have a mental block when words are pronounced incorrectly.  I can't see the mispronunciation and forgive it.  Instead, I get confused and wonder what that word is - that new and strange word - the word I don't know.  I get angry with myself because I feel like I have missed out on something I should know.  And  yesterday, when I finally realized that it's something I've known about all along, just pronounced incorrectly, I instinctively stated the correct pronunciation.
He accused me of being "short" with him.  He accused me of implying that he was "stupid."  I am completely confident that I did neither of these things, and the accusation hurt me.  But what I took away from this encounter was that what he saw - and what was he said were backed up in my expression and tone of voice - was that I was upset with him.
I have very little control over my expression or tone of voice.  Or, rather, if I can control it, I do so poorly.  I have been told this.  And I believe it as well.  I may use different voices, but I rarely put any thought into the voice I use and its correlation to my intention.
My point in all this: I didn't see the situation from the other person's side, and it's taken me over 24 hours to grapple with why.  And I still don't know.  I just know it was an emotional time for both of us  and I don't believe either one of us intended to hurt the other.  Sometimes, I give off "angry vibes" that I am not controlling.  That's just how it is.  I don't mean to be mean.  I don't mean to be hurtful.  I just have a very strong connection to words and find it difficult to understand context when things are mispronounced.

On Sheldon Cooper & Autism Spectrum Disorders

Since 2007, the internet has been abuzz about whether Sheldon Cooper - the popular main character of CBS' hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory is Autistic.  The show has never addressed this, leaving it, for the most part, up to the discretion of viewers to determine whether Sheldon is or is not Autistic.  Frankly, this is something I've never really been concerned about.  A lot of people originally noted Sheldon's Autistic qualities and decided he must have a diagnosis of some Autism Spectrum Disorder.  But what happened, over the years, is that the regular viewer just fell in love with Sheldon as Sheldon - as an eccentric rather than an Autistic - and the issue just sort of slid off the proverbial table.  Every once in a while, Sheldon's Autistic tendencies jump out from the screen.  And we notice.  We laugh and smile and enjoy Sheldon for who he is, Autistic or not.

And frankly, I think that's great.  I think it's OK that the show has chosen not to give Sheldon an official diagnosis and instead focus on his abilities.  Of course I know that Autistics are not defined solely by a diagnosis, but at the same time, I find it difficult to believe that the show would be as successful or as funny if Sheldon's behavior was suddenly explained by a medical diagnosis.  Unfortunately, our society is still in a place where it would dwell too much on the ASD itself and I'm afraid the show would lose its light-hearted humor.  

In many ways, I do see Sheldon as an Autistic stereotype, and honestly, I'm torn about how I feel about that.  I do not like stereotypes and I know all Autistics are different, but Sheldon Cooper is one of my favorite television characters because I really can relate to him.  Even though I like to think of everybody as unique snowflakes, it is true that our neurochemistry defines a lot about us, including some traits that are more prevalent in the Autistic community.  And I have many stereotypically Autistic qualities.

All in all, my current opinion on this - and this opinion has changed a lot since 2007 and may continue to change with more time - is that the show is not about Sheldon alone but rather about a group of friends with different abilities who all love each other in spite of perceived flaws.  And that's about the best thing I could hope for for anybody, especially someone on the autism spectrum.

I am so glad that I, like Sheldon, have loving friends who accept me regardless of my neurochemistry and who are willing to help me navigate the challenging world we live in.
And while many people are out there, searching the world for an official diagnosis of ASD for my beloved Sheldon, I'm satisfied just knowing that Sheldon is treated well, even though he's a little bit different than society's depiction of "normal." 

Routines Are Important

Routines are important for a lot of people with autism.
Routines are very important to me.
Changes frighten me.  Plans are my only salvation.  And when plans change, I get very frustrated.
Last night, I had a meltdown because I hadn't had a shower.  It was a long, active, and social day in which I participated in multiple sports activities, played outside, played with children, and also played a borrowed game with friends.  Why was I stressed?  I was stressed because I felt unclean - covered in "germs" - and had felt the compulsive need to shower since after the first activity of the day.  Hours later, I was frustrated and grumpy and upset.  Things were not going my way.  I wanted my shower.  My brain was not having a good day and it was aggravated by a challenging social situation in which I found myself playing board games with two people I did not know well.  I was feeling anxious because I wanted to shower.  And I was feeling anxious because of the social get-together.  All the anxiety and discomfort eventually led to me melting down.
Sometimes, I can't control my routine.  When that happens, it's really difficult for me to manage.  I'm writing this now so I can "own" it.  I'm writing this because I do not like meltdowns, but they happen. I'm writing this because I think it's important that neurotypical people understand that Autistic people sometimes have meltdowns, and it's no fun for anybody.  We aren't trying to hurt you.  We aren't trying to confuse you.
I hate it when people I like complain about my brain.  I hate it when people are able to respect me so often but still struggle to accept my meltdowns.
And for me, routines are important.

All About Me

Here, I like to write about being Autistic.  I sometimes find that in the rest of my life, I often find myself trying to "hide" my autism, but here, and elsewhere on the internet, in the warm embrace of the Autistic community, I feel comfortable to share the unique tidbits of my Autistic life that are particularly relevant to other Autistics.
But today, I thought it would be interesting to mention some unique things about me that have nothing to do with my autism.  Today, I'm going to share some facts about myself that relate only to me being human.
I love animals.  It started out as a love of cats - I even wanted to be a cat when I was younger - but has evolved to a love of all animals.
I love creative writing.  I have always wanted to be a published novelist or author of short stories.  I used to write a lot but that trend has slowed in recent years.  I still love writing though.  Hopefully I'll get back in to it soon.
I have wanted to be a mother since I was three years old.  My first career goal was to be a stay-at-home mom.
I really dislike reality television.  It's difficult for me to articulate why, exactly, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I have a deep love for scripted television, for beloved characters, and for the creativity of their writers.
I have always loved country music and musicals.  It's a strange combination, but those are the two categories of songs on my iPod.
In my fridge right now, I have two boxes of carrots, a loaf of bread, some garlic butter, a can of Diet Coke, a container of chocolate-chip muffins, and a tetra-pack of soy milk.
My walls are dressed with photographs of me with my friends, print-outs of my favorite song lyrics, small pencil drawings I designed last year, a series of cards I received for my last birthday, along with a handful of interesting-looking paper souvenirs 
I bought 60 packages of hot chocolate 2 years ago that I'm just now getting around to drinking because I've been very lazy about cleaning my kettle and/or never seem to be in the mood for hot chocolate.
I prefer Celcius to Farenheit.
I never enjoyed functions but I loved calculus.
The first movie I fell head-over-heels in love with was Practical Magic.  That movie made me want to be Sandra Bullock.
Ms Congeniality was pretty funny too.
But for the most part, I prefer watching television.  I don't usually have the attention span to watch TV for more than 40 minutes at a time.
I've been to a playground twice in the past three days.

Educating People About Autism

I find it hateful when people state untrue facts about autism.
I find it hateful when people spew fallacies about the etiology of autism.
I find it hateful when people talk about "curing" autism.
I find it hateful when people say disrespectful things about Autistics.
Sometimes, it feels like there are two camps of people: those who think autism is a terrible thing and those who appreciate it as an amazing gift.  The first category of people, people who tend to act hatefully towards Autistics like myself, are oftentimes the people who spread false statements and create fear in the hearts and minds of people who don't know anything about autism.
Language around autism is such a convoluted mine-field and not something I feel comfortable discussing.  The dialogue among Autistics and allies and families and professionals is one thing.  When those ignorant to autism join the conversation, things become even more complicated.
What I do know is that these conversations are important.  We need to talk about autism.  And we need to invite all people to the conversation.  Everyone's beliefs and opinions will be different, but that is all right.  We need to share our knowledge.  Autistics need to speak.  Friends and families of Autistics need to speak.  The professionals who work with Autistics need to speak.  Everyone needs to be involved in the discussion.
It is really important that autism stop being the proverbial "elephant in the room" and become something we are comfortable talking about.  Because nothing is going to change unless we step up and share our expertise.  People will state untrue facts, people will spew fallacies, people will talk about "cures," and people will be disrespectful.  People will do all these things because they don't know any better.  It is our responsibility to impart our wisdom to these people so that there is less hate directed toward our community.