It’s different for everyone. Some people withdraw and get very quiet. Others appear to be really angry (throwing or hitting things, yelling, cursing). Others seem very sad/distressed (crying, sobbing, not talking or seeming inconsolable). Some people try to “disappear” by making themselves small, covering themselves with blankets or wedging themselves into a small hiding place.
I don’t think there is a typical response across all people but I do think that each person has a response that is typical of them, if that makes sense.
For me, meltdowns start LOUD and ANGRY, with crying, yelling, throwing, and hitting. Meltdowns are an out-of-body experience and I honestly don't comprehend myself or the situation when I'm having one. I know I scream and cry and wail because I've seen it on video tape (my parents used to tape them when I was a kid because they didn't understand them and wanted to show my doctors) but I honestly have little recollection afterward. I cry and I scream and I throw and then I shrink down into a tiny little quiet shell of myself. I try to hide and make myself invisible.
That is the progression of every meltdown I have ever had from early childhood until now.
Meltdowns are a really unique experience and something that neurotypical individuals cannot usually understand.
The most important thing I want to get across, though, is that meltdowns are not temper-tantrums. Meltdowns are different. Meltdowns are a response instigated by our unique neurochemistry. They are not voluntary.
When I am having a meltdown, I am not really there.
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