I Don't Like Whiney People

I have a roommate who is constantly complaining.

I do love her, but in recent months she has really started to bother me, to the point that I often hide in my room when she's in the living room, and I really have a hard time focusing when she talks to me.

I've always had anxiety about social interaction, and it wasn't until high school that I felt comfortable interacting with people at all.  I had a few friends in high school and in university made a few more.  This roommate is one of the first true friends I made in university and she knows I have this difficulty with social interaction, so we used to seem like the perfect pair.

I used to have to debrief a lot after socializing.  This was the friend who helped me through my first relationship with a boy and who helped me understand how to be an Autistic creature in this neurotypical world.  She was so supportive of me when I stressed about having few friends and being confused by relationships in general.  She was the one I turned to when I had troubles (and I had a lot) with my ex-boyfriend.

But now, I've noticed that she's been complaining.  Constantly.  She complains about being busy.  She complains that her bedroom is too small.  She complains about her family.  She complains about her boyfriend.  She complains about her other friends.  She complains about her schoolwork.  She complains about her skin.  She complains about her hair.  She complains about her body.  She complains about how she's tired, or hungry, or full, or cold... whatever feeling she is having, she talks about it continuously.

I feel like she's become really negative and it's hard to stay positive around her.  In fact, being around her just brings me really "down."

I have a hard time relating to people to begin with, and when you add that whiney quality to every interaction with a person, it makes it really hard for me to want to socialize, let alone to actually do it.

I want to make this friendship work.  I want this friend to be in my life for a long time.

But I don't like whiney people, and it's really hard to be her friend right now.

A Good Update

I am in a "good" place right now.

I have a lot of schoolwork to do, as well as work and personal commitments.  I miss my friends from back home and kind of want some social time, but I'm also really comfortable, just sitting here in my pajamas in my bedroom, drinking my soda and eating peanut butter cups.  I went to the doctor today, went to class, and also went to the gym.  I am feeling really relaxed and I'm pretty happy.  I want to go to the gym more because I'm trying to train for an 8K run and I'm so far unable to run that distance without stopping, but for now, I've been to the gym and now I'm feeling good.

I haven't "blogged" about either my own life or anything autism-related recently, so I felt the need to post a quick update.

I'm planning some posts about
- my autism and my relationship with my fiance
- an autism-related school debacle with a professor last semester (that caused me a lot of stress)
- my recent sensory struggles
- what I'm eating (trying to eat healthy but food stresses me out a lot)
- my medication changes
- autism in the media
- autistic parents

But for now, I'm going to "sign off" and go work on writing a paper for school.

I hope everyone is doing well.

You are all amazing.

Anger

Sometimes, I have a hard time controlling my anger.  And oftentimes, when I get really stressed, my brain converts my stress into anger instead of something more productive.

I don't like this about myself.  And I know the people I love don't like this about me.  

I don't know how to change that, but I'd like to learn.

"Unique Baby Names"

I love names and I'm always looking to learn more about them.

My quandary is this: I cannot find a good, recent source of "new" names.

I tend to enjoy "baby name" sites because they usually include long lists of names that I can scan through and pick the ones I like the most.

But right now, it looks like I've already heard all of the names.

I'm really craving new names for my brain.

My mission right now is to find a new website that lists unique baby names, a website that I haven't already analyzed.

Resolutions for 2014

I hate goals, but for some reason, I have always been fascinated by the "fresh slate" offered by the turn of a new calendar year.  I am usually not keen on changing myself or my behaviors, but I decided this year to give it a try.  Minimally.  I won't be doing anything too impressive, but I thought a few simple resolutions would be worthwhile.  If I don't achieve them, I won't be upset, but these are some things I would like to do:

I am going to try not to fight with the people I love.

I am going to try not to hold grudges.

I am going to try to always use kind words.

I am going to try to be polite to everybody.

I am going to try to work hard and make sufficient money.

I am going to try to get an average of over 85% in all my courses.

I am going to try to learn how to comfortably run 5 km by my birthday.

I am going to try to keep being organized with my schedule.

I am going to try to finish at least one extracurricular course of interest.

Happy New Year!

Fall Semester is Almost Over!

In thirteen hours, I will be done my fall semester.  I have one last exam tomorrow morning, and after that, I'll be done!  I'm really excited.

I'm thankful for good friends who study with me and for the peacefulness of the library.  I'm thankful for my ability to learn and remember things and I hope I keep doing well on my exams.

I'm feeling good.  And I'm almost there.

Thirteen hours til I'm able to really relax.

Happy Tuesday

It's Tuesday.

I have a pretty major exam for school tomorrow, which is causing me less stress than it should.  I have another exam on Friday -- which is probably a bigger deal -- that I legitimately have not studied for at all, so that's kind of frightening.

I had a crappy week last week, but now I'm feeling a bit better.  I just need to keep myself awake and focused tonight, tomorrow, and Thursday in preparation for my exams, and then I'll be done with school this semester.  My first exam -- two Fridays ago -- went really well, so I'm 1/3 of the way done!

There is a lot of stuff I should be writing about, but I'm just too exhausted right now to do any of that.  I will try to get to it within the next few days.

For now, life is beautiful and I am thankful.