Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian said the R-Word

A few days ago, I mentioned that I'd seen an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in which Khloe Kardashian said the r-word.  I blogged about it here on November 19th.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is an American reality show about a large blended family whose members are (mostly) famous for being famous.

In the bottom row of this picture the right hand side, is Scott and, next to him, Kourtney.  Kourtney is the eldest Kardashian daughter and Scott is her partner.  Neither one is particularly appealing to me nor have I ever found them particularly appealing, but I found a new dislike in both when I watched the ninth episode of the fourth season and heard Kourtney use the r-word.

The context: Kris (Kourtney's mother) was complaining about Scott's poor work ethic and immaturity.  Kourtney, in what I think was an effort to defend him, said: "He's not r------d."

Then, a few minutes further into the episode, Khloe (she's the one on the far left on the bottom row, the third-born Kardashian daughter) says the r-word.

The context: Kris (Khloe's mother) tells Khloe she has to come to a function even though Khloe's husband is injured and she wants to be with him.  Khloe angrily responds: "I'm not r------d."

That language is inappropriate - ALWAYS - and I am offended that the Kardashians (public figurse who I believe some people must look up to) are using that language so casually and showing people that this is acceptable behavior.

The truth is that the r-word is EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE to a lot of individuals - particularly those with developmental disabilities - and it is absolutely inappropriate to use the term derogatorily because it implies that those individuals with special needs are worth less than their typically developing counterparts.

I'm sure the Kardashians didn't consider any of this before theyspoke.  But I think theyought to, especially since they might be looked to as role modesl.

We do have to "spread the word to end the word" and there is so much work to be done.

Special Needs Community Resources

Do you know what's weird to me?  There are so many community supports for children with special needs but so few for adults who require those same services.  In so many places, when you turn 18 you become ineligible for so many programs that are so essential for so many individuals.  That's so unfortunate.  It seriously makes me sad.

There are conditions that people put a lot of research money in to and conditions that people really pity in kids.  Those kids get a lot of donations and services in the community.  Those kids' lives are made better and easier by people who work hard to give them opportunities to reach their full potential.  But when they're 18, why should those services suddenly stop?  Why do so many organizations stop investing in people once they reach that magical threshold age?

I don't access any community supports right now.  Last year, I did access a few supports, mostly through my university campus's disability resource center, where one of the staff members was very helpful with guiding me to what I was looking for.  Before university, I attended all sorts of programs and groups as well as various therapies.  I now that I've reached my early twenties, I'm too old to qualify for most of them anymore.

But being "an adult" doesn't mean that someone is done needing help.  I know a lot of people who are much older than me but who rely on private services to help them in their day-to-day life.

Adults matter, too.

I think we all know that.  I don't think that's a groundbreaking statement.  But I do think it's important to recognize that a lot of places really do leave young adults stranded in terms of resources when they "age out" of programming.

Of course I see the value of helping kids, but what makes adults any less valuable?

In typically-developing culture, adulthood is seen as this magical time when individuals no longer need the support and nurturing they received as children because they are supposed to be fully independent.  However, for individuals with special needs -- including Autistics -- that often isn't the case.  As much as I would like to say I am fully independent, I know this is a lie.  I have so many people around me who help me with the little things I cannot do, and this is the case for most Autistic young adults I know as well.

One day I want to "grow up" to a point where I no longer need people to translate the world for me, remind me to eat, and make my house safe.  But I'm not quite there yet.  And a lot of people need more support than me.

So, I wonder, why does the availability of community resources decrease so drastically once one reaches "adulthood"?

Khloe Kardashian said the R-Word

I'm not a reality TV person.  Actually, I despise reality TV.  But I love my best friend and she wanted to hang out with me and wanted to watch a show called Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  I'd never seen the show before, but now I've seen a few episodes.

Essentially, it is a reality show that follows the lives of a very privileged blended family in the United States.  The family members are not particularly likable nor do they seem particularly intelligent, but the show certainly has its share of followers.  I've mentioned it to a few people recently and apparently it is quite popular; it seems like all of my close friends have seen at least one episode.

From what I can tell, the show focuses on the family's eldest three daughters whose names are adorably alliteration-y: Kourtney is the oldest, Kim is in the middle, and the youngest is named Khloe.  Everyone I've spoken to has a "favorite" of the three.  In the first few episodes I saw, my favorite was Khloe.

I was disheartened and offended when -- in the first episode of the the third season of the show -- Khloe casually used the r-word to describe someone she didn't like.  I thought that was just terrible. This is horribly offensive to a ton of people.  And since these women are influential public figures and many impressionable individuals watch this show and see these women as role models, I really worry that this sets a horrible example.

I don't think that word should be allowed on television.  It is not a nice word.  And even though there are so many people who understand and believe this, it is equally true that there are a lot of people who don't yet understand what is wrong with the r-word, and I think it is our job to educate them and set a good example.

A Certain Project

Some of you might now that I am studying health sciences in university.

I have always been fascinated with medicine and the pathophysiology of illness so this was a good career choice for me.

In all honesty, I started university fearful of people and scared of making friends.  I really hated being social for the first few years I was here.  Now I'm feeling a bit better about myself.  I feel less passive. I know I "fit in" (at least some of the time) and I feel good about that.

Anyways, I love learning about medicine.  Medicine fascinates me.

I have a project to do for a course in the end of November.  The assignment is to research and present on a congenital or genetic illness/disease.  The teacher provided us a list of approved topics to choose from; it includes:
Cystic Fibrosis
Congenital heart
Sickle cell anemia
Hemophilia
Cleft lip/palate
Nephrotic syndrome
Polycystic kidney disease
Seizure disorders
Autism
Club foot
Hip dysplasia
Osteogenesis Imperfecta
Muscular Dystrophy
Type 1 Diabetes
Turner Syndrome

I sort of glanced over the list a few days ago, glared at it, and moved on.  Whatever.  I decided I'll pick something that isn't on the list.

And then yesterday, another person in my program sent out an email just to let everyone know what she had picked so that we wouldn't choose her topic.  She told us that the "disease" they had picked to research and present on was was Autism.

For obvious reasons, it upset me when she used the word "disease" to describe autism.  I know I am more than autism, but I do associate autism with me, and it's not fun to think of so much of me as "diseased."

Not impressed with people -- especially people who are studying to be in the health care field -- recognizing autism is a "disease."

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

Every once in a while, I hear an ignorant person say something about autism that makes me, as an autistic, angry.
Every time, I remind myself of this: There is nothing wrong with me.
If you are autistic, I'll remind you, too: There is nothing wrong with you.
If your child or someone else you love is autistic, I'll remind you as well: There is nothing wrong with him/her.

And for any other readers, perhaps you never met anyone on the autism spectrum.  The whole concept of autism might be completely foreign to you.  That's OK.  But if I could share one piece of information with you, it would be this: There is nothing wrong with autistic people.

We have all heard the different ways of classifying autism.  Some professionals consider it a disease.  To others, it's a disability.  And still others say it's a difference.  I am not a neuroscientist and I don't know which of those "D" words is the right one to use - medically or scientifically - or perhaps if autismym is a combination of the three or something entirely different.  All I know is that, being autistic myself, autism is not a negative thing.  Autism should never have a negative connotation.  Autism should not be something that needs to be "cured."
Being autistic is not easy, I'll admit that.  But honestly, I can't imagine that being neurotypical is all that easy either.  Everybody has his or her challenges.  And just as every neurotypical person has different challenges, so are each autistic person's challenges unique.
When I was young, I used to tell people that autism was my superpower.  My excellent memory?  My love of science?  My thirst for knowledge?  My interest in patterns?  My obsession with languages and names?  All those things are traits I wouldn't have without autism.
Sure, autism makes some things harder for me.  I really have difficulty paying attention to things I'm not interested in.  It's always been a struggle for me to make friends and acquaintances.  Stimming in public has always brought negative attention.  Independent living is still something I'm working on gaining the skills for.

But I wouldn't trade in autism to be neurotypical.  I wouldn't want to be.  Autism is such a key component of who I am.

So how can it possibly be a negative thing?

There is NOTHING wrong with autism.

:)