Tumblr & Happiness & The West Wing & De-Stressing

This weekend, I will explain the many ways autism has effected this week of my life and the discrimination I've had to deal with in the last few days.  

But for now, I'm trying to be calm and happy.  I have an exam tomorrow that I am trying my best to study for.  

I love this tumblr site and it was recently updated!  It is called "Little West Wing Things" and it is for fans of the amazing show The West Wing and basically posts little quotations or concepts from the show that make me (and other West Wing lovers) happy.  

  

  

Those were some recent additions to the site that made me smile.  

If you're a West Wing fan, you'll probably like this tumblr.  

If you're not a West Wing fan, you probably should be.  The show celebrates smart individuals and smart dialogue.  The show tackles complicated and multi-faceted issues.  I love it.  When I'm having a bad day, The West Wing is often my solace, and since I can't spare 44 minutes to watch an episode tonight, this tumblr is giving me a good few minutes of joy.  

Kourtney Kardashian and Khloe Kardashian said the R-Word

A few days ago, I mentioned that I'd seen an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians in which Khloe Kardashian said the r-word.  I blogged about it here on November 19th.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians is an American reality show about a large blended family whose members are (mostly) famous for being famous.

In the bottom row of this picture the right hand side, is Scott and, next to him, Kourtney.  Kourtney is the eldest Kardashian daughter and Scott is her partner.  Neither one is particularly appealing to me nor have I ever found them particularly appealing, but I found a new dislike in both when I watched the ninth episode of the fourth season and heard Kourtney use the r-word.

The context: Kris (Kourtney's mother) was complaining about Scott's poor work ethic and immaturity.  Kourtney, in what I think was an effort to defend him, said: "He's not r------d."

Then, a few minutes further into the episode, Khloe (she's the one on the far left on the bottom row, the third-born Kardashian daughter) says the r-word.

The context: Kris (Khloe's mother) tells Khloe she has to come to a function even though Khloe's husband is injured and she wants to be with him.  Khloe angrily responds: "I'm not r------d."

That language is inappropriate - ALWAYS - and I am offended that the Kardashians (public figurse who I believe some people must look up to) are using that language so casually and showing people that this is acceptable behavior.

The truth is that the r-word is EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE to a lot of individuals - particularly those with developmental disabilities - and it is absolutely inappropriate to use the term derogatorily because it implies that those individuals with special needs are worth less than their typically developing counterparts.

I'm sure the Kardashians didn't consider any of this before theyspoke.  But I think theyought to, especially since they might be looked to as role modesl.

We do have to "spread the word to end the word" and there is so much work to be done.

Khloe Kardashian said the R-Word

I'm not a reality TV person.  Actually, I despise reality TV.  But I love my best friend and she wanted to hang out with me and wanted to watch a show called Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  I'd never seen the show before, but now I've seen a few episodes.

Essentially, it is a reality show that follows the lives of a very privileged blended family in the United States.  The family members are not particularly likable nor do they seem particularly intelligent, but the show certainly has its share of followers.  I've mentioned it to a few people recently and apparently it is quite popular; it seems like all of my close friends have seen at least one episode.

From what I can tell, the show focuses on the family's eldest three daughters whose names are adorably alliteration-y: Kourtney is the oldest, Kim is in the middle, and the youngest is named Khloe.  Everyone I've spoken to has a "favorite" of the three.  In the first few episodes I saw, my favorite was Khloe.

I was disheartened and offended when -- in the first episode of the the third season of the show -- Khloe casually used the r-word to describe someone she didn't like.  I thought that was just terrible. This is horribly offensive to a ton of people.  And since these women are influential public figures and many impressionable individuals watch this show and see these women as role models, I really worry that this sets a horrible example.

I don't think that word should be allowed on television.  It is not a nice word.  And even though there are so many people who understand and believe this, it is equally true that there are a lot of people who don't yet understand what is wrong with the r-word, and I think it is our job to educate them and set a good example.

On Brick Heck & Characteristics of the Autism Spectrum

One of my favorite shows on television right now is a little gem on ABC called The Middle.

It's a simple family comedy that genuinely makes me laugh.

Characters include the frazzled mom, the out-of-it dad, the over-it son, the over-enthusiastic daughter, and the younger son.

The youngest son is the favorite character of a lot of people I know who watch the show.  He is a quirky boy-turned-preteen who loves to read, has a lot of special interests, dislikes socialization, and repeats words to himself.  He is also loveable and quite adorable.  This is how the writers created this character of "Brick."

The show never references whether Brick has any diagnosis, but he definitely shows traits of stereotypical Asperger's Syndrome (or at the very least, he sure acts a lot like I do, or so people tell me).  On the show, Brick's parents make some comments about how he's different and he attends a social skills program for the first few years of the show, but other than that, Brick is just Brick.  Brick's behavior might be odd and definitely deviates from the behavior of the other children on the show, but nobody ever questions him.  We all just accept that Brick is Brick.

We see this on a lot of TV shows nowadays -- Autistic traits as part of a character who is never officially diagnosed on the spectrum.  Is this a trend?  Is autism the new popular thing?

And if so, why are real autistic individuals still so disadvantaged in the community?

90s Flashback

When I was younger, I loved this show.

When I was younger, Sabrina the Teenage Witch was my favorite.  I loved Sabrina and the other characters (especially Aunt Zelda).

Of course I'm far from the only girl who liked Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  I don't even think I'm the only one who wished I, too, could be a witch.  I enjoyed the way Sabrina was different.  I enjoyed the way Sabrina dealt with her challenges.  I enjoyed the way Sabrina took charge of her own life and always tried to make the best of any situation that arose.

Sabrina didn't always fit in, but neither did I.  Somehow, I felt like I could relate.

In episode 1 of the 5th season, Sabrina says to her new roommate: "I don't have to justify myself to you.  Whether you think I'm weird or not doesn't matter."

I loved that line when I was a teenager and it still gives me a happy shiver to this day.

"I don't have to justify myself to you.  Whether you think I'm weird or not doesn't matter."

For some reason, that is so empowering to me.

I love how this show scoffs at normal.  I love how this show celebrates the joy of difference.

On Sheldon Cooper & Autism Spectrum Disorders

Since 2007, the internet has been abuzz about whether Sheldon Cooper - the popular main character of CBS' hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory is Autistic.  The show has never addressed this, leaving it, for the most part, up to the discretion of viewers to determine whether Sheldon is or is not Autistic.  Frankly, this is something I've never really been concerned about.  A lot of people originally noted Sheldon's Autistic qualities and decided he must have a diagnosis of some Autism Spectrum Disorder.  But what happened, over the years, is that the regular viewer just fell in love with Sheldon as Sheldon - as an eccentric rather than an Autistic - and the issue just sort of slid off the proverbial table.  Every once in a while, Sheldon's Autistic tendencies jump out from the screen.  And we notice.  We laugh and smile and enjoy Sheldon for who he is, Autistic or not.

And frankly, I think that's great.  I think it's OK that the show has chosen not to give Sheldon an official diagnosis and instead focus on his abilities.  Of course I know that Autistics are not defined solely by a diagnosis, but at the same time, I find it difficult to believe that the show would be as successful or as funny if Sheldon's behavior was suddenly explained by a medical diagnosis.  Unfortunately, our society is still in a place where it would dwell too much on the ASD itself and I'm afraid the show would lose its light-hearted humor.  

In many ways, I do see Sheldon as an Autistic stereotype, and honestly, I'm torn about how I feel about that.  I do not like stereotypes and I know all Autistics are different, but Sheldon Cooper is one of my favorite television characters because I really can relate to him.  Even though I like to think of everybody as unique snowflakes, it is true that our neurochemistry defines a lot about us, including some traits that are more prevalent in the Autistic community.  And I have many stereotypically Autistic qualities.

All in all, my current opinion on this - and this opinion has changed a lot since 2007 and may continue to change with more time - is that the show is not about Sheldon alone but rather about a group of friends with different abilities who all love each other in spite of perceived flaws.  And that's about the best thing I could hope for for anybody, especially someone on the autism spectrum.

I am so glad that I, like Sheldon, have loving friends who accept me regardless of my neurochemistry and who are willing to help me navigate the challenging world we live in.
And while many people are out there, searching the world for an official diagnosis of ASD for my beloved Sheldon, I'm satisfied just knowing that Sheldon is treated well, even though he's a little bit different than society's depiction of "normal." 

Television is my (Secondary) Superpower

I like watching television.
I know that's not an autistic thing.  I know that's a human thing.
But sometimes, I like watching TV so much that I get absorbed into the fictional world on the screen.  Sometimes, the characters on screen become more realistic-seeming than the people around me.
In fact, despite years of cognitive behavior therapy, most of the ways I know how to interact with people and most responses to difficult situations I learned by watching television.  TV characters regularly teach me about friendship, ambition, joy, pain, and loss.  TV characters are like my own personal mentors.
Apparently, that's an autistic thing.  Or maybe it's just a me thing.  I'll leave that for the world to ponder.

I could write for hours about television.  I could tell you about every episode of every show I love (and trust me, there are many).  I could tell you anything about any character on any show I've seen.  I could tell you episode titles and a quick synopsis for each episode of every season of the shows I follow.  My friend once told me that television was my "superpower," and while I'd argue that television is more of a "secondary superpower," I always kept that phrase close to my heart.  I just like it.  I like the idea of having a superpower.  I like that, despite so many perceived negatives about autism in the world today, Asperger's Syndrome gives me something that nobody else has: I have superpowers.