I'm Not Always Clueless

This is kind of an important post.

Well, for me it's an important post.

For me, it's an important concept.

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 9 years old.  I have been Autistic my whole life.  I was Autistic yesterday, I am Autistic today, and I will be Autistic tomorrow.  That is not a difficult thing for most people to understand.

Being Autistic has challenges.  People understand that.

Sometimes, I don't understand everything that's said to me, or everything that happens around me.  Sometimes I need a bit of extra help.  People understand this.  

And that's lovely.  Most of the time.

There are a lot of people who know I am Autistic and then think I need everything to be explained to me.  I get really upset because of this, sometimes.  Especially when I know what has happened, and then someone tries to explain it to me, and explains it completely differently than the way I see it in my head.  Especially when they tell me I'm wrong and they're right because my brain works differently, so obviously

I'm not saying I'm always right.  I know I make mistakes.  And I know I sometimes do need help.

But when I need help, I will ask.  Please understand this.  Please know that I will ask for help when I need it.

I don't like it when people treat me like I am oblivious to everything around me.  I fully admit that I miss a lot of things and sometimes need things explained to me further, but I don't like it when people treat me like I don't know anything about what is going on around me.

It's a difficult balance and it's something I still don't know how to articulate, but I don't like it when people assume they know more than me, just because I'm Autistic.  Even if it's about a social situation and even though we all know I'm not the best at social situations, I still don't want other people to assume they know better or need to teach me.

*end of rant*

Anger

Sometimes, I have a hard time controlling my anger.  And oftentimes, when I get really stressed, my brain converts my stress into anger instead of something more productive.

I don't like this about myself.  And I know the people I love don't like this about me.  

I don't know how to change that, but I'd like to learn.