Monday, 8 July 2013

Brand New Monday

This weekend was difficult; I worked between six and eight hours every day and had very little time to spend alone or with my boyfriend.
I love having a schedule, but it's hard when the schedule has to be condensed into the three hours between 6.00 and 9.00 PM, instead of something we can work at all day.
Church on Sunday was excellent, as always.  I'm really loving this new church community I've recently become a part of.  I love attending church with my boyfriend and his extended family.  I am really finding a lot of strength in my faith recently.
But now it's Monday and I have a long stretch of week in front of me with no respite.  I'm scared of the days that lie ahead.  I have become increasingly anxious in recent weeks, and while my anxiety comes in waves, I'm not confident that this ebb and flow pattern is good for me.  I either am in a high anxiety place or in a place where I have anxiety that I'll soon be in a high anxiety place.
I'm in a high anxiety place now because I'm afraid of the week ahead.
I'm scared of six hours of work today.  I'm hoping I can be successful.  I'm hoping everything goes well.
I'm upset with a woman I sort-of know for saying something rude yesterday evening that I just can't get out of my head.
I'm nervous because I don't know what I'm having for dinner tonight.
I'm nervous because I should make a doctor and dentist appointment but haven't had the chance to do so because I've been too busy.
I'm anxious about some school assignments I need to get done in the next few days, assignments I have absolutely no time for in my already-packed schedule.
I'm annoyed that I didn't plan my time better before this weekend.
I'm hungry, and I'm disappointed that I've been satiating all my 'hungry' cravings with store-bought chocolate chip cookies that can't be very good for me and aren't really that filling either.
There is a stack of laundry I have to do, but I'm not in the mood for it now.
For six hours today, I have to interact with people for my job.  Tomorrow, I work an even more social 12-hr shift at my other job.
And even though today is a brand new day, I'm still saddled with all of yesterday's anxiety, which seems to have been piling up for weeks and weeks on end.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Today is a brand new Monday.  This week will be better than last week.