Friday, 8 February 2013
Autism & Solitude
I used to hate being around people. I preferred to sit home by myself and spend time doing simple things that I enjoyed. Socializing was so anxiety-producing. I loathed every single moment of elementary school. I lived in fear of recess. I went to a segregated middle school for kids on the autism spectrum; I enjoyed not being social with them, and they enjoyed the same about me. And then high school happened. Now, university. I am expected to be social now. And I'm not as afraid of it as I used to be.
Some days, I enjoy being social.
Some days, I’m bored so I socialize to distract myself.
Some days, I just want to sit at my desk and watch youtube and read and not text anybody or talk to anybody or see anybody.
It has been over 24 hours since I have spoken to or seen anybody. And I LOVE it. My brain is so peaceful right now.
There is a part of me that wishes this is how I always feel.
It feels like my brain can breathe.