Anger

Sometimes, I have a hard time controlling my anger.  And oftentimes, when I get really stressed, my brain converts my stress into anger instead of something more productive.

I don't like this about myself.  And I know the people I love don't like this about me.  

I don't know how to change that, but I'd like to learn.

"Unique Baby Names"

I love names and I'm always looking to learn more about them.

My quandary is this: I cannot find a good, recent source of "new" names.

I tend to enjoy "baby name" sites because they usually include long lists of names that I can scan through and pick the ones I like the most.

But right now, it looks like I've already heard all of the names.

I'm really craving new names for my brain.

My mission right now is to find a new website that lists unique baby names, a website that I haven't already analyzed.

Resolutions for 2014

I hate goals, but for some reason, I have always been fascinated by the "fresh slate" offered by the turn of a new calendar year.  I am usually not keen on changing myself or my behaviors, but I decided this year to give it a try.  Minimally.  I won't be doing anything too impressive, but I thought a few simple resolutions would be worthwhile.  If I don't achieve them, I won't be upset, but these are some things I would like to do:

I am going to try not to fight with the people I love.

I am going to try not to hold grudges.

I am going to try to always use kind words.

I am going to try to be polite to everybody.

I am going to try to work hard and make sufficient money.

I am going to try to get an average of over 85% in all my courses.

I am going to try to learn how to comfortably run 5 km by my birthday.

I am going to try to keep being organized with my schedule.

I am going to try to finish at least one extracurricular course of interest.

Happy New Year!

Fall Semester is Almost Over!

In thirteen hours, I will be done my fall semester.  I have one last exam tomorrow morning, and after that, I'll be done!  I'm really excited.

I'm thankful for good friends who study with me and for the peacefulness of the library.  I'm thankful for my ability to learn and remember things and I hope I keep doing well on my exams.

I'm feeling good.  And I'm almost there.

Thirteen hours til I'm able to really relax.

Happy Tuesday

It's Tuesday.

I have a pretty major exam for school tomorrow, which is causing me less stress than it should.  I have another exam on Friday -- which is probably a bigger deal -- that I legitimately have not studied for at all, so that's kind of frightening.

I had a crappy week last week, but now I'm feeling a bit better.  I just need to keep myself awake and focused tonight, tomorrow, and Thursday in preparation for my exams, and then I'll be done with school this semester.  My first exam -- two Fridays ago -- went really well, so I'm 1/3 of the way done!

There is a lot of stuff I should be writing about, but I'm just too exhausted right now to do any of that.  I will try to get to it within the next few days.

For now, life is beautiful and I am thankful.

Tumblr & Happiness & The West Wing & De-Stressing

This weekend, I will explain the many ways autism has effected this week of my life and the discrimination I've had to deal with in the last few days.  

But for now, I'm trying to be calm and happy.  I have an exam tomorrow that I am trying my best to study for.  

I love this tumblr site and it was recently updated!  It is called "Little West Wing Things" and it is for fans of the amazing show The West Wing and basically posts little quotations or concepts from the show that make me (and other West Wing lovers) happy.  

  

  

Those were some recent additions to the site that made me smile.  

If you're a West Wing fan, you'll probably like this tumblr.  

If you're not a West Wing fan, you probably should be.  The show celebrates smart individuals and smart dialogue.  The show tackles complicated and multi-faceted issues.  I love it.  When I'm having a bad day, The West Wing is often my solace, and since I can't spare 44 minutes to watch an episode tonight, this tumblr is giving me a good few minutes of joy.  

I Hate Sad People

Sometimes people are sad.

I have never been comfortable around sad people because I don't know how to respond to them.

Sad people make me uncomfortable and anxious.  I just don't know how to react around them.  I shut down.  And there are people who turn to me for comfort, but I just don't know *how* to comfort them.  

I fully recognize that I am "bad at sad."  But I really stress when I'm expected to be comforting and I am simply incapable of it.  These are the moments I feel the most Autistic (in a bad way).  These are the moments I struggle the most to feel comfortable with myself and feel like an adequate person to those who love me.  I sometimes feel so incompetent in relationships.  And when people are sad, I tend to feel worse about myself.