Thursday, 18 April 2013

I Lost My Phone *Cue the Anxiety*

I am a child of the twentieth century, but I've adapted well to twenty-first century living.  In high school, I had a mobile phone for emergencies; it was pink and relatively nice looking, but I didn't even know my own phone number.  I called my mother on it occasionally.  I never sent a text message.  I never even took that phone out of my backpack.
When I moved 4000 kilometers from home, I had to buy a cell phone.  I went to the store with my mother and she handled the purchase for me.  I stood by and listened to the salesman's instructions, but I didn't really learn too much.  I have been asking my mother questions about this phone for the past two years because I know she understood a lot more about it than I did.
I am now a person who carries her phone.  I put it in my pocket whenever I go out and when I'm inside, it's usually on the nearest surface.  I probably place two or three phone calls daily and send a handful of text messages to the people I'm closest with.  I've also started using my phone to tell me the weather and also to share with me the top news stories.  I've grown rather accustomed to my phone.
I lost my phone today.
I was having an anxious day and I begged a friend to come outside for some "fresh air."  We meandered around a field and some apartment buildings, jaunting to and fro with a rather impish attitude.  I skipped down the sidewalk, I jumped on rocks, I flapped my arms carelessly in the breeze, and I climbed everything that looked climb-able. I don't have the best balance, but it was past 8 o'clock PM and relatively dark, and I wasn't embarrassed to look silly in front of only my best friend.  We took a very long walk and traversed the same terrain multiple times.  It was very fun.  Or, at least, it was fun until I realized that my mobile phone was no longer in my sweater pocket.
I suffer a lot of anxiety when things don't go my way or when plans change unexpectedly, and let me tell you, this was not the ideal day for plans to change.  I went into a full meltdown state right there on the field, prancing back and forth, hopelessly begging my phone to return to me.  I'd been so energetic before, but suddenly I just shut down.  I sat still and burrowed into myself, my thoughts running wild. I panicked.  I was sweating.  I was shaking and flapping my arms and internalizing my pain.  I was frozen with fear and anxiety.  It was terrible.
I found my phone.  I don't know what else to say, other than this: I found my phone.  It was after forty arduous minutes of searching a very dark field and only with the help of a very patient best friend who I am even more thankful for now than I was yesterday.  I found my phone.  I am still having a very hard time being calm, but for the moment, things are back as they should be, and that small fact makes me just a little bit more comfortable.