Monday, 6 May 2013

Food Stress

Food is really stressful for me.
Making it.  Eating it.  There are a lot of foods I dislike and a lot of foods I simply can't stand the consistency of.  It's really challenging for me to make food as well because I have a lot of anxiety about cleanliness, and cleaning up after cooking and keeping my food clean is always of great concern.  Plus, the time it takes to cook has never been something I've been particularly keen on.
Food is stressful.
But when I don't eat properly -- when I don't have a near-perfect balance of vitamins and minerals -- I act differently.  I get more "Autistic" when I have low blood sugar.  I can't control myself when I haven't eaten.
I'm moving this week and -- for the first time -- I'm going to be cooking for myself.
I'm going to be forced to fend for myself regarding food for, basically, the first time.
I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I bought lunch at Subway today, but starting tomorrow, it looks like I'll be cooking myself.  If I can bring myself to cook.
It's a goal, I guess.  Two homemade meals a day -- a simple lunch and a slightly-more-complex-but-still-simple dinner.  Plus snacks because I need and love snacks.  And Diet Coke to drink.  Also: water.  I require a lot of water.
I started taking an online course about cooking and nutrition to encourage me to be more interested in cooking for myself.  It seems -- so far -- to be working, because after watching all the syllabus videos for the week this morning, I'm almost itching to get into the kitchen and try out a vegetable stirfry.  I like vegetable stirfry, so I hope I like making it.
My boyfriend tells me I "change" when I haven't eaten properly, and so I know it's important -- for my behavior and my mental health -- that I eat, and that I don't just eat "junk" that's easy to get my hands on.  It's just been tough to encourage myself to do so, up until now.
Wish me luck?
I'll post more about cooking once I start.