Saturday, 11 May 2013

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Yesterday was a bad day.
Yesterday, I moved.
I don't like change.
Change is scary.
Change is scary for a lot of people, and especially a lot of Autistic people.  I'm one of those Autistics who can plan and plan for weeks and weeks, but when it comes time to actually make a change, I have a lot of difficulty achieving it.
Last night, I cried a lot.  I didn't want to be left alone in my new living space.  I was afraid.  I was regretting my choices.  I was questioning everything.  Like I said: changes are really stressful for me.

I'm in the process of settling in.
I'm thankful for my boyfriend, whom I love very much, because he is very good at calming me down and distracting me from my stress.
I'm thankful for my gym membership, because I've been treadmilling out a lot of anxiety.
I'm thankful for my computer, although I'm having a lot of facebook stress lately.  Maybe I'll talk about that another time.  But what I am thankful for is the television I can catch up to on my computer.  I'm glad I have access to youtube and my shows.
I'm thankful for my lists.
I'm thankful for my plans.
I'm thankful that I made it this far. I don't give myself enough credit, I think.  It's hard for me to move.  It's hard for me to adjust.  It's hard for me to accept that plans sometimes change.  But I'm doing OK now.  I'm doing OK and I'm thankful for that.