Monday, 13 May 2013

Facebook Anxiety (Bad) & Some Good Life Things (Good)

I am having a lot of facebook anxiety lately.
Basically, I'm just having a hard time turning on and off facebook because there are people on there that I don't want anything to do with.
I'm really frightened about what I'll see when I turn on facebook, and yet I also feel this compulsion to log in to my facebook periodically, anyways.
I can't help it.  I get even more nervous when I don't know what's happening on my facebook home page.
But still, my heart rate goes up whenever I even think about facebook.
I really am feeling uncomfortable about this whole thing. It is serious enough that it genuinely is affecting my mental health.
So I'm stressed about that.  But that stress comes in waves.  Sometimes, I'm fine.  Sometimes, I'm doing other things.  Sometimes, I get fixated on it.

I missed my pills yesterday, so it's possible that's affecting me.

But there are good things happening too:
I get to see my boyfriend later, and I love him, so that will be nice and will make me feel better.  We might get to watch some television together, which would be relaxing.  I'm hopefully also going to get to go to the gym and play some tennis.
Another good thing: I'm starting to feel more comfortable in this new environment.  I'm sitting in my new room now, drinking Diet Soda (my happy food) and working on an online course.  I'm going to make dinner for myself tonight.  I bought groceries yesterday.  I'm a little bit scared about that, but I'm mostly excited.
I'm really benefiting from my new gym membership as well.  I wish the gym was closer so I didn't have to walk a full 20 minutes to get there, but I'm glad I'm moving around and getting some of my "crazy" out on the treadmill.  I'm also enjoying using the weight machines.
I'm glad it's been nice weather.  I'm glad it's not too hot yet but it's also not too cold.  I'm glad it's kind of breezy.  I'm glad it's not too sunny, since I usually forget to bring my sunglasses with me when I go out.