Sunday, 6 January 2013

A List of Current Thoughts

Love.
Pain.
Brokenness.
Sadness.
Frustration.
Anger.
More pain.
A very visceral pain.
More anger.  Anger because of the pain.
And anger because of the lying.
Vulnerability.
Anxiety.
Fear, because of the unknown.
Fear, because of the feelings.
Fear, because I do not understand the feelings.
Anger, because I do not understand the feelings and I do not like the fear.

Feelings and thoughts can be difficult for any person to decode.  For me -- and also for some other people on the autism spectrum -- it is hard to understand feelings.

It has taken me months to compile this list.  This is how autism affects my own thought process.  Sometimes I struggle with autism because of my interactions with others.  But recently, my autism struggles are in my own brain and blocking my understanding on my own thoughts.