Saturday, 5 January 2013

Say What You Mean & Mean What You Say

This is just a rant, inspired by some social situations I'm experiencing and I am struggling to understand.  Being on the autism spectrum makes it difficult for me to decode social interactions.  I'm not saying this is true for all autistic people -- I know a handful of very social autistics -- but for me, it is difficult to make and maintain friendships and often those difficulties stem from challenges relating to communication.
Oftentimes, I can see that there is a deficiency in my knowledge or my understanding, but it takes me a while to find out why.  So, upon reflecting, I think it all has to do with my own philosophy of "say what you mean and mean what you say."  Specifically, because not all people say what they mean and mean what they say.  So, voila, my thoughts:

I don't like liars.
I don't understand lying.
I don't know why people would say something that they don't mean.  The whole purpose of language is to convey meaning and truth, so why would anybody distort that?  Stating untrue things literally defeats the purpose of language.  Lying is not communication because it does not convey information clearly.
I have told many a "white lie" in my time.  But when I say something, I mean it.  When I say what I want, I do, indeed, want that.  When I say what I need, I do, indeed, need that.  I try my best to communicate clearly.  And I hope that others will communicate clearly with me.
It is frustrating when people lie to me.  It is frustrating when people say things that they know to be untrue.  It is frustrating when people say things, then I behave in a way congruent with what they have said, but I later find out that they actually would want something else.
I don't like it when people leave me "out of the loop."
I don't like it when I am the last one to know things.
I don't like secrets.  I don't understand why we need them.